So little done this week. I am literally sitting in front of an entire month of house guests. Though this is wonderful- as T will be showered with family love. It is also a bit of craziness in my life. I don't mind guests I actually quite like it. But the disarray of my space, schedule and T's schedule does bear a burden. Alas I am trying to let it go and take some advantage of the freedom of not having to pick up/drop off/cook for T. (though C gets most of the cooking credit.)
I did have a great day in the studio last week, drawing bears witness. This week I have popped in for short bouts. Had a nice studio visit too. I have been wanting to invite folks into the studio to get some discourse about this new work and I hope that results in me finding some clarity. Dialogue usually does. This convo was good as it reminded be of how wonderful it is to lean, shelf and informally present art. How do you draw out good conversations from your studio visit?
After a week away in Martha's Vineyard I am "back to life, back to reality..."
sort of- I actually get 2 extra days to be in the studio before reality (aka job) really returns. Today got off to a slow start as I am pretty absorbed in my book, hold still, and I am always distracted and time sucked into looking for teaching jobs that don't exist and are insane competitive but I waste the time anyway.
Once I got into the studio I started a new drawing. I didn't feel like it was working so I put it aside either to begin again or salvage the paper. As I was perusing my image archives I got quite taken with a photo in my iphoto galleries and a new drawing was born. It is not done yet but I am super happy with it so far. I have a little more work to do in the body and am undecided on the hair. Most of my other drawings have an additional element in it. Almost like 2 images collaged...so maybe this one will end up with something too. Just going with the flow.
I am loving making these drawings and hope that they find a home in the end. A place to exhibit and people to support them. It is scary changing your practice so much as I will no longer be of interest for some people as the fiber is fading out as a less dominant medium for me. But you have to be authentic and right now these feel oh so good.
But with that said I did spend about 3 hours stitching today too (on my never ending piece) and that was a nice change of pace.
So when T came in this Sunday morning to tell me that "there was a mommy daddy book on the black chair." I say "thats mama's book" T says " I was looking at it" I say "ok. you can look at it that's fine. Just be careful with it."
Go back to sleep for an hour.
Wake-up. "what ya doing?"
t: Mama I am drawing this little girl. I like this picture
And I look. He is drawing Virginia from the image in the book.
me: Oh that's Virginia and on the other page that's an image of Emmett. Those are the kiddos of the photographer.
t: Why are they naked?
me: They live on a big farm in the middle of Virginia. They have a big area to swim and a cliff that overlooks it. No one is around for a long time. If we had a place like that you and me would be swimming naked too.
Proceeds to draw the farm, water and cliff.
Then draws Emmett.
My mama artist heart was exploding with love, pride and artistic joy.
That comment I made yesterday made me curious so here is the very first post I ever wrote...going on 8 years ago. I am simultaneously embarrassed and envious of how un-self-conscious it is... Also kind of amazed by the similarities between the studio walls then and now and so recognize the voice of that artist that I was.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
ok, so i am finally doing it. Starting a blog.
everybody has been telling me to do it. So here goes.
I am all alone this week. No Hubby ( aka C).
And I left my phone in nyc so I cannot even call him or my mom for company.
I would think it would be easier to be by myself for 5 days.
Let me tell you it sucks.
I cannot wait to be done with my thesis so I am in the city full time and say goodbye to this lonely little
apartment with no furniture in massachusetts for good.
So here is the lowdown. I am an artist, I am in my last year of graduate school.
I live 3 days a week where I go to school in Massachusetts and live the
rest of the time in Brooklyn with my husband, he is a cutie, and the
most adorable fabulous 3 cats in the world, and a fish. I would rather
be in Brooklyn pretty much all the time but alas I must finish what I
These are some images of my studio earlier this week.
But it is already old news. I have rearranged everything and will have to update.
I am trying to figure out how to group stuff so....I rearrange always.
I remember when I use to write here everyday. I remember how wonderful that was.
As maybe some of you have noticed it has been very quiet here. I have written a few times about the struggle of what this blog is to me right now or needs to be and my attempt towards understanding that and how it needs to change.
I considered "officially" closing the blog as I have seen so many people do over the last year. But that just seemed wrong. Then I questioned what is it? This blog? It started as an experiment and in reality an online sort of diary. A confessional writing exercise that made sense with my art practice. Then it became a "journal" more about critical writing, thoughts and work of talented fiber artists...I began to be afraid or timid about sharing my own personal journey- how was it to live up to all of this amazing art and amazing artists that I was writing about? It became more about them and less about me.
It opened up doors and provided opportunities.
Then my life changed... so much.
Child born, life moved and uprooted, full time job came back, marriage struggled....
As my statement says "the autobiographical drives the work and is necessary for it to exist" so as my life dramatically shifted into the realm of a working mother with a broken relationship my work and needs as an artist shifted. My time and energy was splintered, my art work struggling. The last thing I wanted to do was look at talented artists and write about them. So then what was the purpose of this place. Everyone came here to read about these other artists? And why did that cripple me so much?
In these last few weeks I have really yearned for this place again. This dialogue which in reality is mostly with myself. This blog has always been for me, my personal journey, for me to archive artists, for me to make community, for me to share my work, my practice, my thoughts. When I started it literally no one except my mom was reading it and I still got up everyday and wrote. Makes me want to revise those first weeks of blogging...
I have no idea what this blog is anymore, but I do know it still has breath in it. So maybe what to expect:
I will be honest I am still not very interested in writing about other artists. Just revisiting the ones that constantly inspire me; Sally Mann, Louise Bourgeois, Tracey Emin, Annette Messeger, etc.
I am mostly not doing fiber right now and it feels really good.
I am drawing with pencil, shooting with a digital camera, and have no idea where I am going but know that I am moving.
Someone I have been looking at a lot in this moment of "what the f*** is Alice Neel.
I was so lucky and delighted to see that David Zwirner was having a show of her drawings in NYC when I was there last month. So I dragged my not feeling well 4 year old to the gallery and it was so worth it.
I love the directness of her drawing style, her viewers direct gaze and her admittance to the domestic world that she lived and worked in. As a very real woman who married multiple times, had a handful of children and never ever stopped making her art. I am inspired by her perseverance and her ability to gaze in a way that few were doing at the time.
Of course I like her pregnant women series (none in the show) very much but also really found the images she drew of children powerful. The show is up until the end of the week and so worth it. I am really loving drawing work right now it is so simple and direct and raw.
My problem comes with the fact that it then needs to be behind glass, I wish I could figure out a less permanent way to resolve mine in the gallery. But I will take Alice's work however they give it to me.